Train-rain-train & more rain...

It's spring in Oregon. What does that mean? Small breaks of sunshine or hope as I like to call, them break through the constant drizzle of those last remnants of winter’s rain. Spring also brings my first 1/2 marathon. The Race for the Roses is taking place April 5th and I have just a bit of fear in my heart. With two weeks left before the big race I have time to complete my training. Today I ran the insane distance of 11 miles. My body responded wonderfully, but my mind continued to protest the entire time. Small tweaks of the knee or ankle are to be expected. The occasional side stitch is well known, as well as producing enough sweat to soak the death valley - all these physical thing are well known and understood by me. But the mind is truly evil. Will I be able to run this distance outside? Is the treadmill lying to me and I have really only completed 5 miles to the 11 it’s stating? Is my IPod Nike+ rounding up my miles (they do, by they way). My poor mother, who is flying out to see this historic event; what the hell is she going to do for 3 hours while I run around Portland?! Doubt is plaguing me. I will continue to run and proceed with my training. I still want to run that marathon - but all this running is getting just a tad bit old. And when do I hit the point when I can eat anything I want and be thin?! Hopefully this race will inspire me; much like my other first distance races did. Either way I'll still get my t-shirt and get to hang with mom - not a bad deal!

Shamrock Run 2009

This year I had the honor to run with an amazing group of people at the 2009 Shamrock Run in Portland, OR. Raymond, Sarah, Lisa and Christopher braved the rain, wind, cold and early morning hours all for the pure joy of running on Portland's city streets. It was for most their first 5K run and I was overjoyed to have witnessed it. Here's to my peeps! Thank you & much love - Chris

Clarity or Insanity? Try both...

After completing my second race I was on a ‘runner’s high’ so to speak. Elated that I had surpassed my goals (shocked to have even accomplished them, really), I wanted to continue to train and find greater challenges. But I also don't want to burn out or try to compare myself to runner who have been running since birth. I needed to impress upon myself that this was a journey I was taking for my physical and to a great extent inner self. But I do have to admit that the physical benefits can be pretty good.
I love the way that running is redefining my body. Let me be clear. I not loosing weight. Crazy hunh? All that running and with little to no weight loss?! Yep. But I was trimming up in ways I never though would be possible - without some serious cash, a plastic surgeon and recovery time. I was becoming stronger and every breath felt more deeper and purposeful. I bet you I can inhale a kumquat. My thighs are trimming up and becoming more slender and powerful. And my butt. Ahhh. Let me tell you about my butt. Overall size remains the same, but the shape is a huge improvement. I no longer have the wall-of-ass as I liked to think of it. It has a serious curve. Jeans which I refused to wear before because I hated the way they made my butt look - now look good! My mood has improved. I can’t really explain it but somehow I have become even tempered and honestly happier since taking up the sport. I have become content in my skin. Oh, there are things I would like to improve, but now I don’t have that burning sense of urgency or remorse because some part of me isn’t up to snuff. I also have a greater sense of what I want out of life. Somehow sweating has brought me clarity. Amazing what allot of movement and an alien parasite can do for you! Now I am an adict. I can't stop. Plus, if I had to save myself from a charing rino, I could possibly out run it. Well maybe if it was lame...

Now I have a personal goal of completing a marathon for 2009. Wish me luck. I have my eyes set on one in particular, but there are always more races to be run...

Here is my race History so far:
The Shamrock Run (5K) - PDX
The Bridge to Bridge to Brews (8K) - PDX
The Starlight Run (5K) – PDX
The Human Race (10K) - PDX

Future Races:
2009 The Shamrock Run (5K) – PDX
The Race for the Roses (1/2 marathon) – PDX
A Marathon – to be determined…

Wish me luck! And oxygen at the finish line!

B2B and Back Again

I had just completed my first race. My goal for the year was to complete a (singular) 5K, but I had my heart set on the Bridge to Bridge (B2B). The B2B has an 8K race, but no 5K. In my excitement I had told everyone and I mean everyone, I was going to run the B2B. So in a long standing tradition of mine; I sucked it up. I would run 2 races in 2008. This time I drove the course and realized quickly that as picturesque as the bridges were, they were nothing but man-made inclines. Great. Now not only do I have to prepare for a longer run, but one with inclines. I was terrified. But I had already registered and my forty-some dollars for the registration fee was non-refundable. My sentence was set and there was no chance of parole. So I ran at an incline for three weeks to prepare. Race day I recruited a friend who I told I needed for her emotional support. In reality I wanted someone there to identify my body. This race was almost 5 miles! Who in their right mind would run that distance?! I managed to eat a light breakfast of a banana – which due to my nervousness tasted almost identical coming up as it did going down. I made sure to have my trusty I-Pod and my newest gadget with me. My Nike +. Oh, how I loved my Nike +! It tracks my miles, speed, and goals. It’s like when the teacher gave you a foil star in class for a job well done. You could have built a nuclear power plant for show & tell, but it meant nothing if you didn’t get your star. The reviews states how incredibly accurate the device was in determining your miles. We arrive at the race after looking for parking for 30 minutes. It’s insane to think that all these people drive to run in a race that is most likely a longer distance than the drive from their houses to the race. We get to the start line just in time for me to realize that I have to pee. Again, thousands are in attendance and there appear to be 4 port-a-potties (okay, maybe more - but at time all I could realize was there were not enough!). No time to pee the race is about to begin in about 7 minutes. In the fine tradition of my people; I suck it up. I set my I-Pod for an 8K distance. I am ready. The race starts and we being the slow shuffle dance across the starting line. Something I didn’t realize was that this race was a walk/run. Which means that there are people WALKING! Slowly! Nothing is worse, than having someone slowly shuffle in front of you when your tying to get your motivation and average pace up. And they were TALKING! I had my very first on foot road rage moment. I started darting around the walkers, while also trying not to out pace my average speed. We approach the big hill on the way to the first of two bridges in the race. This hill is steep. The kind of steep that makes you nervous about parking facing down hill. I crest the hill, slightly winded, but for the most part feeling good. The walkers are behind me and now I have space around me for the first time. The Steele Bridge is the first you cross and I realize that as amazing as it is to run over this bridge and to see all of downtown Portland ahead of you, I begin to wish they had closed the entire bridge for the event. Cars are racing down the opposite lane of traffic spewing their fumes. Nothing like increasing your lung capacity to suck in exhaust. This was minor though in the knowledge that I was doing something that I never thought I would ever, ever be able to due. Run. The day was crisp with morning and I felt great. I spy a runner who is about to pass me. He looks sharp. He has the complete matching Nike outfit. He has on the $200+ running shoes I saw recently at the sporting goods store (Nike, of course). And is calves; his calves looked like they were carved by some long dead roman sculptor. He had on these sporty Ray-Ban glasses – again perfectly matching the outfit. He was a thin, toned and just fantastic. Not really my type, but he looked like a running god to me. “Wow”, I thought, "I bet he is going to finish this race in like 20 minutes." I see him pass me and mentally wish him well. Halfway through the race I see Mecca. A rest station with port-a-potties! I pause and wait in line to relieve myself, grab some water and continue on my run. I figure I won’t finish this race with record speed, but I am going to finish – alive. A better result than I expected. As I am crossing the second bridge, I see the running god pass me again! Oh, what happened to my running god! Did you fall? How did I pass you and not noticed? Wait, I even stopped for a potty break! I must call Hell when I get home and see how the snowballs are faring. After crossing the bridge and rounding the final bend, my Nike + chimes in, “Congratulations! You’ve just completed your 8K!” As I am about ready to cheer to my own success, I see a mile marker ahead of me; 0.5 miles till the finish line. “Liar! Dirty filthy liar! Stupid Nike +!”, I think. Fear sets in. What if I during my training, I have been running less than I thought and now my body is going to explode because it wasn’t ready for this! Too late now, I have to complete this race. Anyway I have to pee again. With that I finish my race and claim my prize; breakfast at the original “Original Pancake House” and use a proper bathroom.

My First Race

I choose the Bridge to Bridge (B2B) 5K that took place in April in Portland, Oregon. I told EVERYONE, I would be running in that race. I began stepping up my training working towards mastering my 3+ miles before the race. I was feeling inspired and frankly successful. That is until I went to register with the race. That year’s event did not include a 5K. I was in an utter panic. Their shortest race was an 8K; 4.97 miles. WTF! I was still working on getting to 3.107 miles at a stint and they want almost 5! I was determined to run the B2B. I needed an “ice breaker” race, something to boost my confidence. I selected the 2008 Shamrock Run. That race had a 5K run and was a month before the B2B. I had double checked the course this time!

The Shamrock Run is a fun, all inclusive race that benefits a local charity. Taking place right before St. Patty’s day, I thought this would be the perfect way to prove to myself that I could run the B2B; my new nemesis.

Here is a quick overview of my first race:
I woke up late; no time for breakfast. I went to the race wearing bright green sweat pants and a Guinness Sweatshirt. I thought I would look so festive! After all, who could have come up with a more ingenious outfit to run a race themed for the Irish? How about the 16,000 other participants?! The race starts at 8:05 AM. The temperature is about 30 degrees. Lots and lots of people wearing festive Irish theme crap over their Nike outfits. All those participating in the run are huddled at the race line. The race horn starts. You see hundreds of people begin to slowly shuffle over starting line. I had thought when I heard the horn that we would be off! But to avoid the possible stampede we all shuffle as if we are all in mutual agreement. As the crowd disperses, I am starting to get around more and more people. I start to feel pretty cocky. “These people are barely even hoofing it! Come on people! Move it or loose it!” I think. I start to feel the effects of my running, but I have been running for less than 5 minutes. I try to pace myself. I can accept that exceptionally fit people are going to pace me. Very youthful people too, have the leeway to pass me. As my breathing is starting to return to normal, I spot her out of the corner of my eye. She has that silver hair that is almost purple. Her wrinkles are so deeply worn I bet you could find lost articles in them. Oh sure, she is fit and thin, but she has to be close to eighty and she is closing on me – FAST. I begin to pick up speed. I’ll be damned; if someone with a hip replacement is going to pass me. I may be a beginner runner, but I am not eighty! Although I have picked up the pace and again my breathing is ragged, the gap between us is closing. She still has on her reading glasses! I start to make fast dashes into the crowd ahead of me. “If she is going to pass me, then I wont have to watch her do it”, I think. But no, she is tailing me! I have become her 'rabbit'. As we round the second bend of the course, we approach another obstacle I didn’t train for. A huge fucking hill. Back in my training on the treadmill, ever hear of me saying I ran at an elevation of blah blah blah? Nope – not once. Today would be a day of first. Determined (stupid, really) I sprint as fast as I could up the hill. That old bird will never be able to keep up with me now. I was sucking air like a coke fiend at a Studio 54. I started to look around, “I beat her! She is so far behind me, I can’t even see her! Ha!” I thought. That is when all triumph and joy left me. I spotted her in a gap in the crowd. I was about a fourth of the way up the hill and she, ‘Old Blue Hair’, was cresting the fucking hill. I continue to run. But now my legs are refusing to pump and my lungs have left my body for a more restful place. Unable to run another step, I attempt to power walk up the remaining of the hill. All those people I passed at the beginning of the race? Please enter humbleness here. Thankfully the top of the hill came and the remainder of the course was downhill, so I could begin my much slower run again. I was convinced that my race time would be forty-five to sixty minutes. I finished in just over 29 minutes.

As with most things, I learned some important lessons after completing my first race.

1. Study the course! Know where the hills are and fear them;
2. Plan your outfit. Prepare to be freezing (if spring), then while running hot & sweaty and finish by being sweaty & with more freezing;
3. Figure out how you are getting to and from the race. Although this came as a shock to me – THOUSANDS of people attend these races and about half of them DRIVE to the race;
4. Eat a breakfast that is easy on the tummy (very light). Heart burn never feels good, especially when running (but farting is forgiven - only if outside);
5. Pace yourself. Someone older, less fit, with one leg is going to pass you. They may even give you the stink eye for slowing them down. Don’t sprint your first race, unless you like the feeling of affixation;
6. You will feel like your running in slow motion. People will pass you (Mr. Peg-leg). Don’t panic. You are most likely running faster than normal.

Training Dayz

I was progressing well through my pod-cast training, although how anyone can progress from one week to the next was beyond me. I stayed at week 5 for 4 weeks! I finally broke at week 7. I had been at the week 7 pod-cast for about 3 weeks when I realized that I hated – no, HATED the urban tribal techno playing in the background and that the narrator’s voice which I at first found upbeat and inspiring, was now an unwelcome prompt for me to run more, faster, and with better form – ever chipper and driving me to wonder about the man who created this insane form of punishment. I realized then, why you where supposed to push yourself to progress from one pod-cast week to the next, least you risk a severe case of rage inspired insanity. I never could bring myself to listen to weeks 8 & 9. I would not let this deter me from finishing a 5K race, however. I needed to test out my ability. I made a goal and decided that I would run one (1) 5K in 2008.

Giggle, Wiggle & Wobble

The first pod-cast was deceptively easy. Walk briskly for several minutes run for a minute, return to walking, run for 90 seconds, walk, run a minute and finally finish by walking to cool down. Total time on treadmill – 35 minutes. Not to say I didn’t find this challenging – just I wasn’t experiencing the heart pounding, side tearing, breathless exertion I was anticipating. You repeated this pod-cast 3 times in a single week then progressed to week two – wherein he increased the time running and decrease the time walking. This continues all through the pod-casts, until you hit weeks where there are long continuous runs starting around 25 minutes and progressively getting longer as the weeks progress. Something happens to a person when they run for anything longer than 5 minutes. They feel the vibration of body parts giggle and in some incidents (larger parts) wobble in a ways they have never moved before. I was convinced that if by no other means my love handles would simply vibrate right off my body along with ruling majority of my ass. But thankfully these thoughts did not persist long, because another concern was suddenly brought to my attention. Apparently I was a host for some kind of parasitic alien. I knew this be true, because due to all the shaking I was undergoing, it had become angry and was responding by causing the sharp pain in my side. You might call it a “side stitch”, but this pain moved from one side to another and was relentless. Thus, obliviously alien in nature. I was determined to complete my first long run. I firmly told the alien to “quit it!” ignoring the odd looks from the other gym goers. My list of aliments however, doesn’t end there. I had suddenly become asthmatic. Seeing my reflection in the window in front of me, I could see my face was deeply red, beginning to look a bit purple around the edges. I was huffing and puffing, but couldn’t get any air in. My pony tail was at an angle (not on purpose), I was dripping sweat (just gross), and then the minor fact that I couldn’t breathe. I finished my run, marking a top speed of 4.5 mph on the treadmill and collapsed on the floor in the stretching area. My legs were J-E-L-L-O, but honestly I was proud of my accomplishment. Next time, I would try it without crying.

The Pod-Cast from Hell

I had purchased an I-Pod to provide some much needed musical inspiration. Although I had heard and knew what the term “pod-cast” was, I'd never actually heard one. While surfing I-Tunes I came across a free pod-case called, “Couch to 5K”. I was intrigued. One it was free, two it promised to bring you from your couch to a 5K race in nine weeks and three I had just moved to a new state where I knew no one, was poor and had an abundance of free time. In the back of my mind I was mulling over the idea of running a 5K. But honestly I had no idea what a kilometer was. Was it a mile, more than a mile, less? I never paid attention in math class and again that oversight was biting me in the butt. I really never thought that I would ever be able to run that distance, however long it was. But this pod-cast had a pleasant sounding narrator and upbeat techno music. I reminded myself that this was not gym class and there would be no jeering audience or pushy gym teacher to see me fail. So I began my training.

The Beginning

I am not a natural athlete. If fact, most of my life I have struggled with being overweight. That struggle dominated my life and in some ways still does. It colored my view of the world and how I believed others perceived me. In my early twenties I was able to get my weight down from over 300+ to a respectable 145. I did this through a very strict and stupid diet and occasional exercise. I weighed 145 for approximately 6 minutes. What a glorious 6 minutes they were! Since then my weight bounced around from 165 to 180. In late 2006, I found myself back up to 200+ pounds. I was pissed! I’ve been here before and it sucks. Determined to loose weight and trim up, I decided to do the unthinkable and run.