My First Race

I choose the Bridge to Bridge (B2B) 5K that took place in April in Portland, Oregon. I told EVERYONE, I would be running in that race. I began stepping up my training working towards mastering my 3+ miles before the race. I was feeling inspired and frankly successful. That is until I went to register with the race. That year’s event did not include a 5K. I was in an utter panic. Their shortest race was an 8K; 4.97 miles. WTF! I was still working on getting to 3.107 miles at a stint and they want almost 5! I was determined to run the B2B. I needed an “ice breaker” race, something to boost my confidence. I selected the 2008 Shamrock Run. That race had a 5K run and was a month before the B2B. I had double checked the course this time!

The Shamrock Run is a fun, all inclusive race that benefits a local charity. Taking place right before St. Patty’s day, I thought this would be the perfect way to prove to myself that I could run the B2B; my new nemesis.

Here is a quick overview of my first race:
I woke up late; no time for breakfast. I went to the race wearing bright green sweat pants and a Guinness Sweatshirt. I thought I would look so festive! After all, who could have come up with a more ingenious outfit to run a race themed for the Irish? How about the 16,000 other participants?! The race starts at 8:05 AM. The temperature is about 30 degrees. Lots and lots of people wearing festive Irish theme crap over their Nike outfits. All those participating in the run are huddled at the race line. The race horn starts. You see hundreds of people begin to slowly shuffle over starting line. I had thought when I heard the horn that we would be off! But to avoid the possible stampede we all shuffle as if we are all in mutual agreement. As the crowd disperses, I am starting to get around more and more people. I start to feel pretty cocky. “These people are barely even hoofing it! Come on people! Move it or loose it!” I think. I start to feel the effects of my running, but I have been running for less than 5 minutes. I try to pace myself. I can accept that exceptionally fit people are going to pace me. Very youthful people too, have the leeway to pass me. As my breathing is starting to return to normal, I spot her out of the corner of my eye. She has that silver hair that is almost purple. Her wrinkles are so deeply worn I bet you could find lost articles in them. Oh sure, she is fit and thin, but she has to be close to eighty and she is closing on me – FAST. I begin to pick up speed. I’ll be damned; if someone with a hip replacement is going to pass me. I may be a beginner runner, but I am not eighty! Although I have picked up the pace and again my breathing is ragged, the gap between us is closing. She still has on her reading glasses! I start to make fast dashes into the crowd ahead of me. “If she is going to pass me, then I wont have to watch her do it”, I think. But no, she is tailing me! I have become her 'rabbit'. As we round the second bend of the course, we approach another obstacle I didn’t train for. A huge fucking hill. Back in my training on the treadmill, ever hear of me saying I ran at an elevation of blah blah blah? Nope – not once. Today would be a day of first. Determined (stupid, really) I sprint as fast as I could up the hill. That old bird will never be able to keep up with me now. I was sucking air like a coke fiend at a Studio 54. I started to look around, “I beat her! She is so far behind me, I can’t even see her! Ha!” I thought. That is when all triumph and joy left me. I spotted her in a gap in the crowd. I was about a fourth of the way up the hill and she, ‘Old Blue Hair’, was cresting the fucking hill. I continue to run. But now my legs are refusing to pump and my lungs have left my body for a more restful place. Unable to run another step, I attempt to power walk up the remaining of the hill. All those people I passed at the beginning of the race? Please enter humbleness here. Thankfully the top of the hill came and the remainder of the course was downhill, so I could begin my much slower run again. I was convinced that my race time would be forty-five to sixty minutes. I finished in just over 29 minutes.

As with most things, I learned some important lessons after completing my first race.

1. Study the course! Know where the hills are and fear them;
2. Plan your outfit. Prepare to be freezing (if spring), then while running hot & sweaty and finish by being sweaty & with more freezing;
3. Figure out how you are getting to and from the race. Although this came as a shock to me – THOUSANDS of people attend these races and about half of them DRIVE to the race;
4. Eat a breakfast that is easy on the tummy (very light). Heart burn never feels good, especially when running (but farting is forgiven - only if outside);
5. Pace yourself. Someone older, less fit, with one leg is going to pass you. They may even give you the stink eye for slowing them down. Don’t sprint your first race, unless you like the feeling of affixation;
6. You will feel like your running in slow motion. People will pass you (Mr. Peg-leg). Don’t panic. You are most likely running faster than normal.